The Oxygen Mask

It’s perhaps the most famous safety announcement of all time - “Put on your own oxygen mask first.” It’s also a widely used metaphor for what to do in a crisis.

Here in the land of individualism and meritocracy, we Americans tend to take this metaphor to heart; at least the first part of the statement. Generally speaking, our interpretation seems to be “me first.” Full stop.

Regardless of the carrier you fly, the oxygen mask announcement essentially states: “Please place the mask over your own mouth and nose first, before assisting others.” The gist is, “If you can’t breathe, you’re of little use in helping your child, loved one, or fellow passenger.” But the message is not akin to simply stating, “save yourself.”

The implication is clear: In case of emergency, once you’re breathing correctly, your next responsibility is to help anyone else in need. Yes, save yourself, then get busy saving others.

Many of us talk about the “taking care our ourselves first” part, but we’re not always as comfortable with the assisting others part. If you’re a parent or travel with family members that may require help, you likely think about this safety instruction differently. But the reality is, no matter who we are, we are all ultimately on the journey together.

The homeless, the addicted, the conspiracy theorist , the immigrant (legal or otherwise), and even the privileged among us - they are all fellow passengers and helping them get “oxygen” is our moral responsibility.

One of the infamous statements of last year’s protest movement is, “I can’t breathe.” These three words have become a rallying cry and if you look closely, there are many among us who are also saying this sentiment in some way, shape, or form.

The homeless person is essentially saying, “I can no longer stand on my own two feet.” The addicted individual is really saying, “I am traumatized and will do anything to escape.” The jobless and economically disadvantaged are basically saying, “I can barely keep my head above water.” Those that have suffered abuse, neglect, and racism are in effect saying, “I am wounded and devastated.” Even some prosperous individuals can feel so disconnected at times they feel “homeless.” In essence, many of the poor, deprived, oppressed, and brokenhearted among us cannot breathe - in some cases, literally.

I don’t know what it’s like to be homeless or the victim of racism. I’ve never been destitute, incarcerated, or addicted to an illicit substance. But I do know what it’s like to have a broken heart. I can tell you first hand, having your heart shattered feels a lot like not being able to breathe. In that way I can relate.

If we’re willing, most of us can relate to heartbreak, shame, or trauma and once you can relate to and empathize with others, it’s easier to breathe. As the adage goes, once we’re breathing properly, we can start assisting those that are having difficulty doing so on their own.

We are increasingly a divided society and many seem to only want to help those that think, look, or vote like they do. This is seen in our political discourse where some decry “America first” while others seek to “cancel” those that don’t follow their rules, have a different opinion, or have made a past mistake.

It’s understandable that when we feel threatened, we look to protect our own. But such thinking is also short-sided and outdated in the construct of the world we now inhabit. If climate change, the COVID-19 virus, the new information age, and global economy teaches us anything, these issues tell us that ultimately, there are no real borders. In a global crisis, there is no us and them. In a true emergency, there are no democrats and republicans, rich and poor, or woke individuals and canceled.

I have a friend who uses the hashtag #humanityfirst (thanks for the idea Matt) in many of his posts. He’s right. No one really comes first, humanity does. We are all on this mother ship earth together. We are all fellow passengers and we must stop patronizing, demonizing, and hating the “other” side. The real moral dilemma of our time is when so many of our fellow passengers are suffering and lacking oxygen, what are we doing about it?

I’m sure there are some who are looking at me and saying, ‘that’s a cute little metaphor Eric, but c’mon, it’s a little naive don’t you think?’

No, I don’t. I fundamentally believe that love is the answer and that love doesn’t stop at your front door, neighborhood boundary, prison walls, or national borders. We need to support our neighbors, educate criminals, help the addicted and homeless, and even, dare I say, love our enemies (I read that somewhere).

For those who aren’t spiritually minded please forgive the analogy, but the oxygen mask metaphor also parallels another famous human survival rule – “love your neighbor as yourself.” Have we really stopped lately to think which neighbors? I’m not a theologian, but I am pretty sure the “Golden Rule” refers to ALL of our neighbors. But from my view, much of our current attitude goes something like this: My needs first, then my family, community, and country (or at least the half of the country that agrees with me).

Many feel like the ship is sinking or the plane is losing oxygen at this moment. The state of the country, health of the planet, and the constitution of our collective character all seem to be in a perilous and precarious condition. It’s hard to disagree with this assessment. Things do appear to be drastic and urgent and if the oxygen mask hasn’t dropped for you yet, my guess is it will sooner or later. But if you look closely, the remedy is right there in the airline safety announcement.

Step one. Put on your mask. Love. Forgive. Express gratitude and humility. Breathe.

Step two: Help your neighbor do the same.